NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
