Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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