Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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