i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
