My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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