it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
