I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
