she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
