@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i dont even know how to be here
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
