Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
