So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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