The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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