She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
