also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
