Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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