I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
