the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
