I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
