if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we have pet lesbian snakes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
