to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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