i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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