yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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