It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
