I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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