Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
