I hope mine doesn't look like that
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
