I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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