Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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