i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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