Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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