8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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