Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
