Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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