I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
