So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Everyone says I win the strip club
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
