we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
