i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
