If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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