Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
