I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
