I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
