I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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