from now on my penis is your penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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