He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
