Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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