Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
