Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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