is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
