I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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