At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
